Warning from publisher to reader: At HarperCollins, we are committed to customer satisfaction. Before proceeding with your purchase, please take the following questionnaire: 1. Which of the following do you appreciate? A Women with somewhat horse-ish facial features. B Women who, while not super Jew-y, are more identifiably Jewish than, say, Natalie Portman. C Frequent discussion of unwanted body hair. 2. Are you offended by the following behavior? A Instructing one's grandmother to place baked goods in her rectal cavity. B Stripping naked in public—eleven times in a row. C Stabbing one's boss in the head with a writing implement. 3. The best way to treat an emotionally fragile young girl is: A Murder the main course of her Thanksgiving dinner before her very eyes. B Tell her that her older sister is prettier than she, and then immediately die. C Prevent her suicide by recommending she stay away from open windows. If you read the above questions without getting nauseous or forming a hate Web site, you are ready to buy this audiobook! Please proceed to the cashier.