Now in paperback! Here are a thousand and one laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There�s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue�from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,001 funniest things ever said:�I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They�ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.��Rita Rudner�I don�t know if it�s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.��Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe�I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.��Malcolm Forbes �The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, �You know what? Let�s just grab lunch.���Bill Maher