Bride and mother-of-the-bride rebel against today�s monster weddings and explain how weddings can be charming, affordable�and excruciatingly correct. Today�s brides are bombarded with wedding advice that promises perfection but urges achieving it through selfishness (�It�s your wedding, and you can do whatever you like�), greed (choosing the presents that guests are directed to buy), and showing off (�This is your chance to show everyone what you�re about�). Couples wishing to resist such pressure see elopement or a slapdash wedding as the only alternatives to a gaudy blowout. But none of these choices appealed to a bride who happened to have been brought up by Miss Manners. Judith Martin and her newlywed daughter, Jacobina, explain how to have a dignified ceremony and delightful celebration without succumbing to the now-prevalent pattern of the vulgar, money-draining wedding that exhausts families and exploits friends. 6 illustrations.